Car Stalker - Minneapolis-St. Paul

It's true, when I see a cool car on the road and either I'm driving and the wife has the camera or vice-versa, I'll go miles out of my way to stalk my victims until I get a few choice shots.

This vintage Mini drove by us and since we were in our (new) Mini it just felt right to tag along for a few miles. It still amazes me how small the original Mini is compared to the modern version.

First they go by in the outside lane, should we follow? Of Course we should.

We almost lost them at this junction...

...but thankfully traffic slowed the nimble Mini down.

Then we got the money shot...it seriously felt like we were in a SUV compared to the older Mini, staring down at them from the towering heights of a Mini Cooper!

Then we let our prey go on its merry way, they went left, we went right.

So, if you were driving your beautiful vintage Mini back in June in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area and a blue and white Mini Cooper followed you for a few miles with a giant camera lens poking out the window, I apologize, but your car was just too awesome not to stalk.

Austin Healey Sprite

When I was a kid in Ireland in the 1980s Austin did not  translate to sexy. An Austin on the road meant a crappy little granny-Metro, a rusted out Allegro or a boring as feck Montego. So when I see a car like an Austin-Healey Sprite, I can't help but think "where they hell did BMC go wrong?"

This Mark I Sprite, the bugeye, was parked right across the road from the Lotus 7 look-a-like. I'd bet the two owners were out together enjoying the open top driving and the weather in KC is perfect for it this week. And in the same area were two showroom perfect examples of a Miata and a convertible Corvette.

Power-wise the Sprite would be left behind by all these cars, including the Miata, but sitting still on a beautiful sunny day, the Sprite wins all the prizes.

Mercury is Dead: What's for dinner Honey?

Mercury, the subsidery of Ford, not the planet, has effectively been silently killed off this week. No one is talking about it, 'cause nobody cares. Crap, even Saturn had a bigger going away party.

For too long Mercury(s) were just re-badged Fords, which were not such great cars in the first place. And where did it fit in the family line between Ford-Lincoln-Mercury; was it a step up or a step down? Often they were a few hundred bucks less than the blue oval versions, other models were more costly.

The last decent looking Mercury was the 8th edition of the Cougar, but favored by cougars, not drivers, and that will always kill a sports car/coupe (are you listening Mistubishi Eclipse?).

The only Mercury I ever had a crush on was the Mercur badged XR4ti. It wasn't a huge sales hit, unlike the European Sierra counterpart, but when you are lucky enough to see one on the road today it still looks amazing. Sure, loads of gear heads had a boner when the 2003 Marauder came out, but it looked like a 1987 cop car. So that makes it lame, especially when you could have gone to the auctions and picked up an actual Crown Vic Interceptor for about two grand at the time.

Well, only the only person to blame is parent company Ford who decided the Mercury brand was only good enough for retirees who didn't give a damn how a car looked or drove. The kind of customer, who due to Alzheimer's is not even going to remember that they used to drive a Mercury Sable, or where they parked it.

R.I.P. Mercury, say hello to Pontiac and Saab in car heaven for us.

Even this commercial looks like it was made by a Youtube Fanboy.

"Right, listen here, I got it...we'll take a really great looking Japanese car, change it till it looks like a pig's ass, put Dodge badges on it and call it the Stealth, people will flock to our showrooms. Success." Can you imagine this pitch at Chrysler back in 91 and then the other fool who actually green lighted the project?

The Mitsubishi 3000GT (GTO JDM) is still a fantastic looking car, a true Japanese Ferrari, especially in red. The first time I saw one I actually thought it was an Italian Stallion and my mind was blown when I realized it was a Mitsubishi. It has a design that will endure and inspire future generations of car enthusiasts and designers.

Fast forward 10 years and I'm living Stateside and I start seeing these certain ugly cars made by Dodge that look vaguely familiar. Then it hits me, like a Chrysler Group marketing man jumping off a building, somebody fucked up a 3000GT. 

I get infuriated when I see a Stealth on the road. Like when you see a beautiful building that has been tagged by graffiti and you just can't understand why someone would do such a thing to a piece of art.

And don't get me started on the fecking monkey who pitched the idea of the Eagle Talon...ahhhhhhh! What were they thinking back then, no wonder Chrysler got into such a mess.

They made it look like a Ford Probe or something else totally redundant

The wheels remind me of a washing machine, even this girl walking past is grossed out

"Yeah, and we'll put a boomerang shaped little spoiler on it..."

"And you know the way the 3000GT looks good from the front, well we'll make sure the Stealth doesn't."

This video is practically saying "An old car in a barn is more of a car than your brand new Dodge Stealth."

1976 AMC Matador - Tim's Work in Progress

Tim got the Matador (Maddy) a little over a year ago and has been patiently bringing her back to life. He's been scouring Internet forums for advice, asking old-guy mechanics what they think he should do for this and that part and Maddy has been into a garage or two for more than a little TLC. To watch Tim nurture the Matador is to see the ultimate example of; a labor of love.

I drove him down to KCK when he had a new exhaust put on her last Spring. Cornetto was on blocker duty, playing Smoky to Tim's Bandit, when he was trying to taker her up the road without the old Po-Po catching up with him. People see the 70s relic and smile, instantly seduced and just can't help offering to help. Maddy's like a Siren singing us to our death upon the automotive-rocks in a sea of thick motor-oil.

Maddy has become a permanent fixture now and we love seeing that sun-burnt orange boat at the side of their house when we pull up for some good BBQ at chez Klein-Roy. I catch myself staring at her, looking at those lines and they amaze me every time. In comparison to their 70s ancestors, modern cars have become numb and desynthesized. Apart from Bangle when he was at BMW, who is going to put their design career on the line and produce a body with such lines and textures? There is something we car people love about impracticability and the 1976 AMC Matador hits a lot of those points. 

When helping Tim's lady friend clean up some crud for the estate sale this week, I actually found the original set of keys for the Matador and gave them to Tim. He looked like a kid who got exactly what he wanted for Christmas when I gave him that old set of keys.

The Matador has been in the family since new and with the care and attention Tim lashed upon her, I'd say it will be in the family for years to come. We can't wait to see Maddy when she's all finished and on the road and I know I'll want to go for a ride, sitting up front, three abreast in the giant bench seat.

In the meantime here's a quick video and some pic's of the old girl.

 

NSX - Japanese Supercar

The Honda NSX (Acura in the US) seemingly came out of nowhere and shook-up the establishment in 1990. Ayrton Senna, honed it to perfection and being Japanese, it brought reliability to the Supercar world. 

The NSX is still a sexy looking car after 20 years, sure its name even sounds like SEX...NSX. Honda have a new one released, but currently only for GT racing. Rumors about a production ready model are beginning to surface and with the world wide fan base of the NSX, it should be a no-brainer.

I suppose there are a ton of arguments for and against the NSX being a Supercar, but as far as I'm concerned, anything that looks like this, sure is. Never mind being mid-engined, rear wheel drive, light weight, built by a world champion F1 team...etc...

I saw this NSX the other day when I was having lunch at Happy Gillis. I walked over to it and was a little surprised to see how dirty it was. Usually when you see a car of this caliber it practically blinds you from fresh-wax-shinyness. The wife's friends has a NSX and his looks like it should be in an auto concourse every time I see it, but not this NSX, it might as well have been a Honda Civic daily driver.

Then, the second surprising thing happened when we saw the owner get in and drive away. We supposed it belonged to some young fella with more money than sense and I looked around the restaurant and saw some likely suspects. But when two old guys about my grandfather's age got in and took off, I was blown away. You know what they say about books and their covers. I hope I'm driving a car like an NSX when I'm their age.

1991 Jeep Cherokee Limited

Impulse shopping is not something I indulge in often, I can walk around a GAP sale and want a hundred things and walk out with out spending a dime, but put $3500 in my hand and point me in the direction of a four-wheel temptress and I'll blow the whole lot in seconds.

My CRX was going fine, no problems at all other than it wasn't a Jeep Cherokee. I started snooping around the classifieds on Sunday mornings and logging on to AutoTrader way too often. I was getting the bug, every time a Cherokee drove past me on the road I was salivating.

I needed some expertise help as I wanted a good, clean, reliable car. My friend Adam was the right man for the job: he was from Iowa and drove an old truck, the perfect Cherokee hunter.

The first one we looked at was a mess, they were looking for $800 for it and Adam said it wasn't even worth $500, so we let it pass. There was another one close by so we headed over there to check it out and the lady at the door said the car would be back in a few minutes. So we waited and ten minutes later the $800 piece of crap showed up again. We jumped into Adam's truck and got the hell out of there.

Half an hour later we were in a much nicer neighborhood and looking at an immaculate 1991 black and gold Jeep Cherokee Limited. I literally jizzed in my pants at first sight.

I should have played hardball and haggled the price down, but I didn't I just told the guy I'd be back in a few day and have all the paperwork ready.

I never got a chance to feel buyer's remorse as the entire KC area got hit by an ice-storm and the Cherokee's four wheel drive proved invaluable. I was an errand boy for my friends and one of the few people able to show up for school at Park. With five seats I was able to bring loads of chicks out to the bars, to paraphrase Swingers "I was so money."

I once came to a road blocked by a timber log and with images of the A-Team van crashing through a secured gate I backed her up and bust through...it was a priceless moment in car ownership.

Fast forward 6 months and the Cherokee is parked outside my new girlfriend's house (this one became The Wife). I got up in the morning to drive to school and looked out onto the street and didn't see it. At first I thought I must have left it at work the night before, but no, I drove it home and parked it right out front. It was stolen, bollocks.

After a lot of BS with the police department in KCK I found her at a wrecking yard, compacted by about 3 feet. I could have cried and the pisser was I'd just paid $300 on new brakes and rotors. It was a short lived relationship with the Cherokee, but not a moment of regret.
Check out this fast Cherokee

Here is the inspiration for most of my Jeep driving

1991 Honda CRX

 

My car looked more like the first picture than the second one, but with Walmart hubcaps. 

With the CRX coming back, I could be tempted again...

My first real Japanese; slick, sexy and fast. This was the other woman I was checking out while the Colt was in getting her surgery. A used car lot down in Kansas City, Kansas had her into Bob's to get a full service. I asked Bob what he thought of it and he said it was sound.

It was way out of my price range at the time, but I got Dad back in Ireland to send me a small loan, one I'd pay-off during the summer.

Even though only three years younger than the Colt, it was light years ahead in power and refinement. Almost felt like a modern car. It's tuned 1.6 liter engine revved freely all the way to the red line every time. Reminded me of the AX Gti that I use to have.

The blue CRX was my first automatic car and my left leg didn't know what to do with itself for the first few hundred miles in that car. But at times traveling at over a hundred miles an hour on hwy 152 at three in the morning my brain-sensory more than made up for the loss in my left leg.

The CRX was a complete workhorse of a car. It would go anywhere, anytime, anyhow and even though it was a two-seater, it had a trunk that was enormous, you could have easily fit five dead bodies in there on a desert run if you found yourself in such a predicament; a Japanese mafia man's dream.

It made the weekly 183 mile run to North-East Missouri a breeze. A fill of gas went forever and back then when gas was practically been giving away for free, I could fill it for about twelve bucks.

Only problem I ever had was to change the water pump after a year or more of hard driving. However, since I was living out in the country I took her on a lot of dirt roads and into fields that should be the preserve of 4x4s. I could have opened a coffee shop with the amount of donuts I made in the fields. One night I tried to go up a little hill and the dart shaped nose of the CRX stuck into the side of the grass hill, like er, a dart. I had to back her out, pull a bunch of grass out from the front grill and learn to live with a split front splitter.

A few years later I posted her for sale in the KC Star and a young man in King City, MO desperately in want of a CRX answered the add and when I saw his sad little face and hundreds short of the asking price, I practically gave him the car. I felt a sweet car like that, needed a sweet driver like him. It was like giving a child up for adoption, my little Japanese orphan.

Can you believe "Extra Window" was a selling point?